Dads can have trouble adjusting to parenthood just like mom. Feeling anxious and stressed can come with being a new dad. Sadness, or blues, may occur as a result of a specific situation or event. “Daddy Blues” can improve with restful sleep, lunch with a friend, going to the gym or playing a sport. Feeling sad, or blue can be a normal part of becoming a parent for some men.
Depression is an abnormal emotional state that affects our thinking, emotions, perceptions and behaviors. When we’re depressed, we feel sad about everything. In depression, formerly useful coping mechanisms no longer work. Paternal Postnatal Depression (PPND) can impact new fathers during this critical time of bonding with their newborn. One study in the journal Pediatrics shows depression scores in new fathers increased by 68 percent in the first five years after becoming dads.
Fatherhood is a huge transition for men, and it is not uncommon to feel stressed, worried or depressed. Men experience hormone shifts and sleep deprivation along with their partners. Other causes can include a history of depression in dad or in his immediate family, relationship changes, financial concerns, sick or colicky baby or even revisiting the loss of a loved one who is not there to support the new family. While most dads want to be supportive and involved, they may not feel prepared and may be uncertain as to what support and involvement may look like in this situation. This uncertainty can lead to anxiety which, if left unchecked, can grow into depression.
When depressed, a man may withdraw more into work, sports, alcohol or substance use. Some men may experience physical symptoms – internalizing their depression can show up as stomach trouble or headaches. Men tend to not want to talk or acknowledge these feelings and this can also come out as anger. This avoidance can increase depression and relationship stresses. Research consistently shows that a father’s depression can have a negative long-term impact on the psychological, social and behavioral development of his children – especially his sons. When both parents are experiencing untreated depression, the negative consequences for their children are greater. Left untreated, depression usually worsens and can result in damaging consequences for his family, partner and life
Depression is a medical condition. With proper treatment and support, recovery is possible.
You are not alone. It is not your fault. You are not to blame.
As with any depression, it is often their partner, close friend or family member who is going to notice something is different. Research shows talk therapy, with or without medication, is very effective in treating depression. Choosing a therapist who specializes in men’s issues is recommended. Dads can access resources online through SadDaddy.com or PostPartumDads.org.
Feel free to visit our blog about family counseling. As always, reach out to Labor of Love for support accessing community resources before, during or after your delivery. Our goal is to provide our families with the best resources our community has to offer.
LovelaceLaborOfLove@lovelace.com / 505.727.7677
Submitted by Kym Halliday Clear, RN / Manager Outpatient Programs, Lovelace Women’s Hospital.
Rosen, M. “Sad Dads”. Parents Magazine, April 2012. Retrieved on April 3, 2017, from: //www.parents.com/parenting/dads/sad-dads/
Kim, P., & Swain, J. E. (2007). Sad Dads: Paternal Postpartum Depression. Psychiatry (Edgmont), 4(2), 35–47.
Lund, T. “More than the daddy blues: Paternal Postpartum Depression”. Huffington Post Dec 22, 2016. Retrieved on April 3, 2017, from: //www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/more-than-the-daddy-blues-paternal-postpartum-depression_us_585af0dee4b068764965b9ed