Is your best friend having a baby? What is it you need to know to support this new mom or dad in your life? How will you keep your friendship through this new stage? What happens when photos from outings with your friend are replaced with baby photos on their refrigerator? Having a baby is most often a joyous time, but we can forget the amount of work that goes into becoming a new mother or father, especially if we haven’t experienced it ourselves.
Having a baby changes the way parents behave; it turns moms, dads and partners into multi-taskers. New parents eventually figure out how to get the chores done while caring for baby, but until then, a little help goes a long way! Speak to your friend about what they need. They may want you to sit on their couch and have a nice long chat just to remind them they are still a person. Your friend may want to speak only about the baby; just take it upon yourself to love that baby! Sooner or later the conversation will branch out into some of the things you shared before pregnancy and birth. Others may appreciate you holding the baby so they can take a nap or shower and take care of basics, like brushing their teeth! Offer to do a load of laundry or dishes. If you live far away, think about ordering meals in or sending a care package.
Text, video chat and social media can help keep friends close whether in town or across miles. Texting is an ideal form of communication for a new parent. They can answer when they are ready. Be patient if the response is slower than it used to be, or if the response does not come at all. It will resume, in time. Just getting your little notes and knowing you are there can mean the world to your friend and keep your friendship vibrant. Ask to see pictures of the baby if they have not sent them in a while. Send them videos of what you are up to as well. If appropriate, use Facebook to post funny stories or pictures about adapting to parenthood. It’s great to have a peek into the “real world” when you are stationed in “baby world” for a season. Discuss with your friend ahead of time how you can stay linked. Be flexible, however, once baby arrives, plans may need to change. If you enjoyed attending movies together, watching a show together at home (after baby is asleep) will be more likely during the first few weeks. If you normally had lunch dates, perhaps bringing lunch to their home will be a nice replacement for a while. These events will nurture your relationship and help your friend adjust to outings again.
A few things to remember are to only give advice if asked and that your friend may start to make new friends. That does not make you any less valuable. When your friend tells you there is a new baby on the way, celebrate with them. Talk about fears: yours and theirs. Be around for your friend right after the baby is born, and stay around for when all the relatives have left. They will still need and want you there to enjoy this change and chance of a lifetime. Plan ahead so you can maintain and continue your fantastic friendship long into the future. Who knows, maybe their baby’s photos will begin to cover your refrigerator!
Content from //offbeathome.com/best-friend-to-a-new-mom/
This blog post written by Labor of Love Contributor Catherine Roth CCHW, and Natalie Swart CLC, CLE